What I learned from my Hibiscus
/A VIGNETTE: A Lesson From My Hibiscus
As you can see from the picture, I almost killed my Hibiscus plant with too much love. This summer was intensely hot and humid, and I believed my Hibiscus must feel the same way, so I watered it every day, assuming it was dry and yearning for water.
Was I wrong!
The leaves turned yellow and began to fall off. I thought this was due to a mite or fungus. As I focused on this possible concern, I continued to water. Before I knew it, I was left with a barren, leafless plant with just a few buds. I was devastated.
More research revealed the true cause: overwatering. My constant attention had created root rot. I stopped watering (for what felt like ages) and waited patiently to see if the plant could recover on its own. Thankfully, it did. Slowly but surely, what I thought were dead branches began to sprout new green leaves!
DOES THIS FEEL FAMILIAR?
Does life sometimes look okay on the outside but feel barren and depleted on the inside, with your roots withering?
Do you find yourself doing the same things, expecting different results - trying harder instead of differently?
Do you find yourself in escapism patterns - scrolling on your phone, eating, drinking, smoking or playing video games more?
It's a pattern many of us fall into. When exhaustion, anxiety, or sadness take root, we often double down on what used to work, rather than what we really need (though sometimes it can be hard to identify).
ACTION STEPS
Acknowledge how you are feeling and what's not working. Awareness is the first and most powerful step toward growth and change.
Return To Your Roots. Reflect on a time when you felt more alive. What were you doing? What made you happy? What lit you up? Reconnecting can provide insight into what is missing and may provide energy and motivation.
Practice healthy boundaries. Be true to yourself and start saying No. Each No is a Yes to yourself and to living life differently on your terms.
Seek guidance and support. Therapy or life coaching can help you gain clarity about what is going on and provide support, insight, actionable steps, and awareness on your growth journey.
QUIETING NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
Do you struggle with self-criticism or harsh inner dialogue?
Try replacing those thoughts with affirmations, such as:
"I am in the process of positive change, and I respond with ease to the insightful changes I need to make."
"My body is always in communication with me, and I am listening and changing."
Hold the image of my hibiscus in your mind. Remember that even when things appear lifeless/hopeless, new growth can emerge with patience and self-awareness.
CREATE A VISION BOARD
Design a vision board that reflects how you want to feel—peaceful, joyful, inspired. Include images, quotes, and goals that remind you of your hopes and dreams.
Let it serve as a daily visual of your potential to grow, thrive, and bloom again—with just the right amount of care.
RESEARCH
Research from Harvard, Stanford, and the National Institutes of Health (NIH) shows that just 6 to 12 weeks of consistent mental training can measurably reshape the brain’s default mode network (DMN)—the system active during self-reflection, judgment, and daydreaming—along with the prefrontal cortex and amygdala. Remarkably, automatic responses such as positive reframing, gratitude, and calm thinking can begin to develop in as little as 45 to 66 days!
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Like my hibiscus story, we all have seasons when we give too much, hold on too tightly, or forget to nourish our own roots. But with awareness, gentle care, and time, renewal always finds its way back.
Remember—you don’t have to have everything figured out. Growth isn’t about perfection; it’s about patience and persistence. Small, consistent changes can lead to deep and lasting transformation.
Take a moment this week to pause, breathe, and ask yourself:
“What do I need right now to thrive?”
