Resolutions and Transformations

It is tradition to ring in the New Year with resolutions. Though you can make a resolution at any time.. 

"What we call the beginning is often the end,
and to make an end is to make a beginning. 
The end is where we start from."
T. S. Elliot  "Little Giddings". 

In making new goals and plans have you reckoned with "the end" that you are making?  It is easy to make resolutions, but as history has taught us most resolutions are a challenge to maintain.

In making a resolution many things are said, both spoken and unspoken.  The unspoken part is that one is  saying "I have discontent", in some way.  The emphasis of the resolution though is on the future of what life will be like once the resolution is attained.  It is that old saying "I'll be (more) happy when...."  Often our course of action is only to address the visible or conscious manifestation of that which we want to make better in our life - excess weight, health, finances, etc. 

In the resolution for better health, for example, what is the converse that one is saying?  The converse is a non verbal admission that one is not attending to themselves well, there is something missing.  Here begins the deeper reasons why one may carry weight, eat poorly and not exercise.  Are there feelings of grief, remorse, shame, low self esteem or self love? How do you feel about the converse side of your resolution(s)?  What feelings come up that you do not speak about in creating your resolution(s)?   This is for you, and you alone, to answer.  In answering this question your ability to attain your resolution increases for you are paying homage to "the end".  You are acknowledging there is more than just the surface discontent.  Homage means to pay special respect or respect shown publicly - do you ever speak to others of these deeper feelings?  Paying homage to "the end" allows for a good beginning because we start from there.

Now that we have looked at "the end", let's now look at "the beginning"...what you aspire to accomplish in with this resolution.

You begin to put your resolution into action...What comes up?....You are not only challenged with procrastination and resistance - to stay where we are; you are also faced with how it feels to own this new, way of being.  How does it feel to address your shortcomings? Be accomplished?  To succeed?  To be seen in this new way, be it more svelte, financially stable, in closer union with challenging relationships, etc.  Have you prepared yourself to be able to hold this "New You"?

As you now can see there is much more to that simple resolution,  its accomplishment and why the failure rate can be so dismal  (According to U.S. News & World Report, the failure rate for New Year's resolutions is said to be about 80 percent, and most lose their resolve by mid-February.)

A resolution acknowledges many things:
1) There is a desire for more in one's life
2) Life can be better
3) That you know there is a way 
4) It is the beginning of homage to one's wounded self for healing.

Some guidelines for resolutions:
- Make them simple so you gain a sense of mastery 
- Spend time exploring the converse of your desire.
- Practice loving kindness to yourself
- Talk about the hidden feelings with a close friend, mentor or therapist
- If you get off track, look to identifying what feelings came up.
- Addressing the "hidden feelings" allows for transformation of the feelings and therefore you!